Dear Lays potato chip makers,
please fill the bags to capacity. If i’m going to wipe greasy shit on my sleeves…you better make it worth my while. Fill those bags to the brim so I can actually enjoy getting fatter. And if you refuse to fill the bag, then I will email you every day pictures of my skin getting cleaner and cleaner from less residue thanks to the absence of your shitty chips. So if you want me to remain ugly and full, fill the goddamn bag up.
Love,
hungry after bier

